Stalkers Don’t Grow Up

Normal people stop obsessing about someone else’s life – like a celebrity - when they outgrow their teenage years and become adults, realizing that in the real world, famous singers don’t fall in love with a girl in the audience just because she shows up and buys all his records. So we grow up, begin paying bills, and create real lives of our own.

But stalkers don’t grow up. They continue to obsess about other people, targeting a person whom they want to know everything about, will do anything to get close to, and live vicariously through, delusionally fixating on an imagined friendship (romantic stalking), rejection (revenge stalking), or targeting to destroy (e.g., gang-stalking).

Unlike teenage girls who dream of marrying rock stars, stalkers have a toxic twist to their obsession: Their need to possess and control their victim. And one lesser debated fact about (gang) stalkers is that they take what could be defined as trophies in their obsession with and need to possess and control another person’s life. In my experience, gang stalkers are obsessed with owning some of the victim’s private belongings, e.g., clothing, books, photos, and unique personal bits and pieces.

Stalkers Ressemble Poorly Socialized Children

From reading and experience, I would say you could define stalkers as people who remain in a narcissistic phase their whole life:

Everyone must love them, want to be with them, find them interesting, and adore them. And if someone fails to do so for one reason or another, they target the person as prey.

In quite a few ways, stalkers also resemble children who have been inadequately or not at all socialized:

They copy others and claim achievements as their own;
They cannot tell the difference between yours and mine;
They are incapable of respecting others and limits;
They don’t understand the difference between living and inanimate objects – everything is a toy, they can do with what they want, even destroy;
They don’t understand that lying is wrong;
They create fantasy worlds and claim these to be true; they do not understand that rules (that is, laws) apply to them too.

I think the points below underline the above. Please note that I am not a doctor or a psychologist; the information below is based on observation, reading, and experience.

Five Ways Stalkers Reveal They Are Unsocialized

Stalkers observe the lives of others and pretend to participate in these.

Stalkers are people who spend more time on their victim’s life than on their own. A typical adult will not spend their life observing, listening, pestering, and copying the lives of another person. But stalkers know what you buy, what you read, what you eat, and when. They know everything, and they build their life around and through the lives of their victims – they create an imaginary world.

Stalkers do not understand that the laws apply to them.

In my experience, and after eight years with this bunch, my take is that stalkers are too stupid to understand the law. A good example would be a woman in this group, a lower-level public servant, who, for a while, handed out warrants and other court orders to her buddies or the investigation team, as they refer to themselves. Evidently, the woman did not understand that she could not hand out such orders.

Another example would be that one of this bunch explicitly stated that he had the right to enter my home when he wanted. It was his right, he said. Just FYI, even if Denmark is in many ways a lawless country where burglaries are seldom investigated, it is still illegal to break into other people’s homes. This man did not understand that, it seemed.

Stalkers steal.

Stalkers make up stories about friendships, relationships, etc., with their victims, relationships they have never had. The physical objects they have stolen – the trophies - are their ‘proof’ that the relationship is genuine.

Stalkers create their own worlds and deny reality.

In my experience, stalkers create a fictive relationship with the victim, as mentioned above, and if the victim’s life does not match their fantasy, they change the facts of the victim’s life with lies. For example, when my life did not fit the fantasy of these raving loonies in 2016, they began a campaign of slander and lies and created another story. And due to their connections and strength in numbers, they de facto changed my life as perceived by others with these lies.

As stated earlier (in another post), these lies, the fake narrative they construct, also serve to isolate the victim.

Stalkers see other human beings as toys and entertainment.

When stalkers get to the point where they see their victim as their possession, they explode if the victim ‘betrays’ them or ‘neglects’ them. That is, they have no sense of the victim as a human being with rights, feelings, private life, etc. The victim is an object they possess or want to possess, like a teddy bear or a Lego castle. To them, humans are objects they have the right to take, play with, and destroy.

Stalkers Are Toxic

In my experience, they act like psychotic and violent boyfriends when ‘the object’ does not play how they want it to. Like toxic men, they believe they have the right to control you, including how you react to them. You have to do and be what they want; otherwise, they will get furious.

My experience and knowledge also show me that when stalking goes on long enough, there will be a movement from stalkers claiming they have the right to enter your home and surveil what you do to them regarding you as their possession that they have the right to control and destroy. And if you do not ‘accept this,’ if you ignore them, ridicule them, or otherwise ‘misbehave,’ they will react with aggression – physical aggression, increased psychological violence, etc.

I have never been in a toxic relationship, so my comparison is based on what I have read and what I have seen girlfriends go through when I was younger. But I think it is justifiable to make the comparison.

In my situation, one of these lunatics used to explode if I ‘said the wrong things’ – so he would keep me awake all night with some seriously amateurish but efficient sleep deprivation. Clearly, he could not accept that I reacted with ridicule to his psychological violence or threats.

The man is a sadistic misogynist, and I believe he may be pathologically delusional because he often defines himself as an ‘investigator’ and his violence as ‘an investigation.’ He has even referred to himself as a PET agent (Danish Police Intelligence Agent). Whether he believes his lies or not, I cannot say, but I believe he is dangerous based on what he says and what he has done.

The above is not scientific research. It is acquired knowledge acquired the hard way. As mentioned in some of my posts, I am not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, so I do not conclude as one. I can only say what I know and what I have experienced. What actually goes on in a stalker’s head, I don’t know. I cannot read minds.

Stalkers Don’t Stop. They Have To Be Stopped!

Over the years, I have tried everything, including ignoring, which is the advice you will get from most people because most people have no idea what stalkers are, so you get:

Just ignore them, and they will go away.

After almost eight years, I can testify to the fact that they will not go away. The madness, the psychological violence, etc., will only increase and worsen over time. And in my experience, ignoring them will make things just as bad as reacting.

“The best way to upset a narcissist is by ignoring him.”

J. B. Snow

Never Knowing What May Come Next

As a stalking victim, you never know what these people will do. All you know is that

They are sadistic and violent people who don’t stop unless someone stops them.

And though this group (the stalkers) talks of me (and my family sometimes) and refers to my life as if we were good friends, we are not and have never been. And none of them have ever been part of my intimate social circles, nor that of my parents. Not even close!

They are monsters, and their crime is not due to romantic rejections or friendships gone sour. They are nothing but a gang of thugs who live to hurt and destroy other people, a gang of thugs who believe they have the right to possess other human beings whom they regard as objects, toys, and entertainment. That’s what I know.

Thanks for reading! I hope you found it valuable and worth your time! Until next time, remember to get your facts straight and that whatever good times you have will never come back as bad times,