Keep Calm & Take Control

February 5th, 2024 / µ

Keep Calm

The stress of constant harassment, death threats, slander, people entering your premises, and worse, via smart technology, is a killer.

Stress can lead to heightened blood pressure, depression, diabetes, you name it. And stress can ultimately kill you. Stress is also a situation that can make you irrational and fear what you do not need to fear. When you lose control of your mind, which you can when being strung out on stress, you forfeit your objectivity, make rash decisions, and do not keep calm amidst monsters and madness. Controlling your stress level is crucial when you are a stalking victim.

“Byerozkin knew very well that the man with no quiet at the bottom of his soul was unable to endure for long, however courageous he might be in combat. He thought of fear or cowardice, on the other hand, as something temporary, something that could be cured as easily as a cold.”

Vasily Grossman, Life and Fate.

Inner Peace

I have learned that inner peace is crucial to dealing with stress. And it can be done, even in the worst of surroundings, as long as you think of yourself first. And that is not as selfish as it sounds; if you are a wreck, you are no good to yourself or anybody else. Putting your mental and physical health and well-being first will make you a better and stronger person who can help yourself as well as others.

Below are a few pieces of advice on controlling stress, keeping calm, and regaining control of your life.

Let Go Of Toxic People

When you tell people how stalking affects you, most people will not understand unless they have been there. Ignore and cut them out of your life if they are not understanding, empathetic, and helpful. Being belittled and brushed aside by people, especially those close to you, can feel even worse than the crime itself. That’s my experience.

My brother had a friend in the Copenhagen police force when my nightmare began in 2016 in Odense. I asked for help, knowing very well that in Denmark, the police won’t bother to investigate crimes against women; but they talk too much and, to my knowledge, sure as hell help their buddies! So, I assumed my brother’s old buddy would do a little something if his old friend asked him. I was wrong.

According to my brother, his friend would not even call his colleagues in Odense and tell them that this was real: I was being chased out of my home by a group of monsters who had broken into my home, threatened my life, and made it impossible for me to live a normal life. My brother said his friend didn’t want to bother his colleagues in Odense!

All I got from my brother’s old friend was that I should wait until I had technical and physical evidence and trust the police, the last group of people you can trust in Denmark, in my dearly bought experience. My brother refused to help me, too.

And that was it for me back then. Wherever I turned (except for a select group of people – that is, to begin with, they quickly lost interest), and to whomever I turned, I got nothing. A group of megalomaniac monsters had decided to destroy my life, and I got nothing - no help, no sympathy (excluding the grossly incompetent help paid for - more about how to hire and not hire private investigators later on); some even made fun of me, indicating that I was being too sensitive:

Perverts follow people; perverts do perverted things; these people are sick pervs! Ignore them. And lots of people have their homes broken into, FYI!

(summing up statement upon statement)

And, of course, indicating that it was me who was the problem:

If you don’t like it here, you can move back to France!

Private photo © Annette My Grandjean Rønne (Taken by my mom in my parent’s kitchen :) )

Blood Is Still Thick To Me

My brother has changed over the past year. He has left his mean, bossy, conniving drama queen of a girlfriend, who detested me, and he and the cop from Copenhagen have nothing to do with each other anymore, he assured me a few months ago.

One day, when I am far away from here, I will try to forget about the Danish police force. But I will never forget the people I knew who refused to help me when I needed them, who thought it was okay for me to be victimized and shrugged their shoulders as I lost everything; I reserve the right to hate them forever.

I will try to live with the fact that my brother refused to help me. However, he will be the only person I will let back into my life again. The rest can burn in hell, and if they burn before they reach hell, fine by me.

“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Marilyn Monroe

The above may sound harsh, but in this world, you must let go of toxic people, no matter who they are. No matter how close a person was to you when you were okay if they don’t back you up when you are down, forget them, hate them, ignore them, but do not forgive them, and never trust them again. They have proven unworthy and unreliable, and you know now that they will let you down when you need them.

You Are What Life Makes You.

Keep Calm & Yoga On!

Taking care of your body is vital. You need to combat the physical effects of stress actively, and sadly, that is not done in front of Netflix with a Gilmore Girl marathon or ten Bradley Cooper classics in a row and a box of cookies. Unfortunately, to my knowledge, science does not support that that is the ultimate way to reduce stress, get in shape, and improve overall health.

The fact is you need to get off the couch when you are down, even if that is when it is most challenging. Physical activities make us happy – science does support that. Physical activities make us feel better about ourselves, lift our spirits, and provide us with renewed energy, confidence, and moral strength to get through whatever we have to get through.

By physical activities, I do not necessarily mean those strenuous activities where you sweat. I mean, I can run, but I prefer not to. I was hopelessly active as a kid and young person, but these days, I choose to rest on the laurels of a cardiovascular system that does not seem to bail on me. My choices these days are walking and yoga due to my current location and possibilities.

When I was too young to resist, I was placed in a ballet class by my mother, who had willingly been doing ballet in Copenhagen since she was about four years old. And somehow ballet grows on you – I still love it today as exercise and watching the classics. I used to swim a lot, too, I was a relatively decent golf player when I was young, and I love horses – hard not to, isn’t it? But ballet, golf, pools, and horses are not options for me right now. I don’t have the money time for it!!!

I have found that the key to physical health and destressing your body is to find some physical activities that suit you (and your income level), make you happy, and get you moving. One is as good as the other as long as you feel good about it and move your body.

Yoga and walking are two of the most relaxing and stress-reducing activities I can think of. And equally important, free. You can walk and do yoga wherever you are, even in a prison.

Structure You Life

Gang-stalking and its ugly twin sister, Gaslighting, will turn your world upside down in more ways than non-victims can imagine – it can feel as if right is wrong and wrong is right sometimes. And stalkers take over your life by taking control of your life. You have to take that back. You cannot let monsters dictate your life. Easier said than done, and you don’t win every battle. But you have to keep trying.

Bringing order to chaos is vital. Keeping track of & creating a safe, ordered heaven amidst the chaos can make you feel more at ease and comfortable in your own life. The more you feel in control, the more you can block out the monsters, calm your body & mind, and relax.

To help with this, I found a perky activity that I would have made fun of years ago and felt was too girly for me, but that which I have discovered has helped me gain perspective, create structure as well as a general outline of my life, health, sleep, and diet.

Yes, of course, I am talking about Bullet Journaling. I mocked it for years, tried it, and am mocking no more. In my bullet journals, I keep track of my diet, exercise, sleep patterns, and so on. It has given me an outline of my physical health I can turn to and see how the psychological violence/torture I have been subjected to for almost eight years affects my overall health and well-being.

And I can say without a doubt that eight years of continuous gang-stalking takes its toll, even on an initially very healthy body. And you have to combat this emotional and physical stress with as healthy a living as you can handle and afford. Otherwise, you are done for!

Torture?

Gang-stalking is psychological violence, no doubt about that. But after eight years, I believe that it’s worse. I think it should be defined as torture (when a public servant is involved one way or another). In my experience, gang stalkers indulge in deliberately causing physical pain and harm to a person to punish, intimidate, etc.

“Torture means any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent or acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity. It does not include pain or suffering arising only from, inherent in or incidental to lawful sanctions.”

ARTICLE 1, UN CONVENTION AGAINST TORTURE*

There are four cumulative elements in the definition of torture:

The intentional infliction
Of severe mental or physical suffering
By a public official who is directly or indirectly involved
For a specific purpose.

Write It Out!

I have been keeping journals since I was around 12 – I am 49 now, and I have quite a lot of recorded experiences. But during the past almost eight years of psychological violence/violence and worse, I have learned that journals are also a great way to let go and get angry all by yourself. Write out your frustrations, anger, disappointments, and sorrows.

It can also be a way to record what is happening to you in detail and in harsh wording. I have been through a lot of extreme situations over the past eight years that I do not talk about with others. One, they don’t want to hear it, and two, I don’t wish to tell in detail what happened. But I write it. I write who, I write when, I write what, I write how. I write how much I hate and write down the names of everyone I have been in contact with, including those at the Danish police force, over the past eight years. I do not ever want to forget the name of one single person.

Point To Remember

A super tech-wizard guy once gave me a piece of his mind on how it is out there online:

Everything you put online should be considered public information.

I always keep that in mind. Whatever I write online, even emails, I assume can be read by people for whom it was not intended.

You can write more or less everything in a private journal that is for your eyes only (depending on the laws in the country where you live). But you cannot write everything online without the risk of breaking a couple of laws. And if you name a perpetrator stating this person broke this or that law, and you don’t have tangible proof, you could be in a lot of trouble (depending on the laws in the country where you live).

I always try to (!) keep a civilized tone in all my online communication and all my innermost private thoughts offline. There was a world before the internet. Pretend it is 1992, write your private thoughts in journals, avoid breaking any laws, don’t get in trouble, and protect your privacy.

Take Your Life Back!

How do you regain control of your life and stress level and find inner peace? Well, this is my humble and non-professional advice:

Let go of toxic people who cause you anguish or make you feel bad about yourself and your situation.
Find a physical activity where you can let go and ignore the world, as well as one that stimulates peace and lowers stress and blood pressure levels. Financial situations are different, so remember to adjust your activities to your financial level so that paying money you may not have does not cause you even more anguish.
Find a creative activity that makes you relax and feel at ease, and if you need to put some order to the chaos, try Bullet Journaling.
Journaling can be a way to say all those things you can’t or don’t want to say to others. Anger, frustration, fear, hatred – just write it out. You will feel better afterward. And you will have a record of what you have been through, your words, your truth, all names, places, and possibly dates.

Reflection Box

Why did my brother’s ex detest me, trash me, and treat me like a servant?

I have met people like her again and again in my life, people who feel the need to trash others – and that was where I became handy because I am, to most people, very trashable due to my education, profession, income level, lack of husband, kids, and house in the suburbs! Pure trash, that’s me, evidently.

The first time I met her, she told me she descended from royalty – I guess she hadn’t checked in with my brother that I am 100 % republican and couldn’t care less! Then I got the story about her fantastic job, life, salary, etc. It’s all fine with me; some people need to put themselves on pedestals to feel good when they meet new people. But why trash me?

To hide something? Because it makes her feel good to have someone to look down upon and make fun of? Who knows? But what I do know is that she is not quite as impressive as she first told me!

The facts are – according to my information – she grew up on a farm, was a left-wing extremist when she was younger (to my knowledge, Enhedslisten – a Danish political party), and lived in China for a while. She was born in Africa and from a family of quite a few kids; one older sister is dead, one is very ill, and the third one married a guy from Gambia and lives in Malmö in Sweden. And then there is a very young half-brother in China.

Maybe she is embarrassed about some of that. Some people are embarrassed about who they are, past choices, and where they come from. Why? I don’t get it.

Just like I am incapable of feeling envy, I am also incapable of being embarrassed about myself or mine or my parents’ background. And I have never tried to be perfect as defined by others—it wouldn’t have worked anyway😉. I grew up in the sticks, and my dad grew up on Nørrebro during WW2 and after – what is there to be embarrassed about? That’s right, nothing! We are all human, for God’s sake. Stop being a snob! It doesn’t lead to anything but misery, enemies, and heartaches!

In the eyes of so many people, I made all the wrong choices in life. I should have been a successful lawyer or doctor or something in that category. It didn’t happen because I didn’t want that. However, when people in my life have had an attitude towards me because of my income level, lack of fancy titles, secretaries, and my chosen lifestyle, I see that as their problem, not mine.

I have lived my life, not the expectations of others.

Sometimes I fuck up, and sometimes I succeed; that’s the way life is, and that’s fine. As they say, it is not about how many times you fall; it is about how many times you get back up again!

If I have to take a deeper look at myself to find the actual reason she detests me, the only thing I can come up with is my jokes about socialists because I make them.

I have had friends from all over the political spectrum throughout my life, from the farthest left to the farthest right, and 20 years ago, that was not an issue. You could disagree with people without hating them. But today, the extreme left seems to make everything a problem – the lack of respect for other people’s opinions and freedom of speech is extreme.

Me, I respect a person’s right to be an absolute idiot and vote for socialists. However, I also respect my right to freedom of speech and, thus, my right to ridicule socialism, which I do because the theory at its core is ridiculous. I mean, how can you believe in a political theory that assumes that humankind is good, wants to be equal, and wants to share money and stuff with strangers? Come one! Human history tells quite a different story.

I believe in a society that is honest about our nature and adjusts society to this, instead of living in a fantasy where you can change human nature to fit society until the day you end up with a non-democratic raving loony in charge – like Hitler – who takes advantage of this naivety turning free countries into murderous dictatorships.

We humans don’t want to share unless it is to our advantage – thus, the welfare state. The welfare state is not about being good; it is a quid pro quo thing. But today, the welfare state has turned into a monstrous bureaucratic nightmare, and the basis of the welfare state is dwindling before our eyes.

Don’t get me started on bureaucracy and the public sector – I have a lot to say, including stories from my dark days in Danish state administration. Yes, I admit it! I worked as a temp in Danish state administration in my ill-begotten youth. I call it The Dark Days - even if I should probably refer to it as The Lazy Days, because using the term work in this context could be seen as a gross exaggeration!

Thanks for reading! I hope you found it valuable and worth your time! Until next time, remember to get your facts straight and that whatever good times you have will never come back as bad times,